Don't listen to the music to loud! Don't read in the dark or you'll need glasses. Don't lift heavy objects or you'll give yourself a hernia. OK. Some of this advice I took and others I'm afraid I should have but didn't. There is some advise I want to pass on to my fellow members of the bar and say it as earnestly and sincerely as I can. First. Spend time with your children when they are young. They grow up much too quickly. How many times have you heard this from people who have passed through the years of parenthood only to realize when their children moved on to col- lege that they lacked any real relationship or understanding of the lives of their own flesh and blood. Needing glasses in a serious way and having undergone surgery to repair my hernia, my advise: STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN!

All of us are familiar with the scrubby looking lawyer with the hollow eyes who proudly announces that the last vacation he's had was five years earlier. (I use he, because I've never had this conversation with a woman.) Usually this "vacation" was a long weekend in San Diego. There is NO honor in working 365 days a year 14 hours a day. Quite frankly, these people scare me. Take time for yourself. Make certain that at least once a year you get away. Go some where with your wife, your family, your friend, your pet, just get away. Taking a vacation and building it into your practice does take effort and the cooperation of your partners, bosses, clients, and most difficult of all, JUDGES. (To be fair many judges are VERY understanding and accommodating. I heard one judge say that the only true grounds for a continuance is conflict with travel plans.) Other judges are far less accommodating. This is usually the same person who wouldn't allow himself to take a vaca- tion when he was practicing.

Of course I am writing this article with my son seated to my right and my nephew to my left while I'm looking out a large picture window framing the Atlantic ocean at our summer beach rental along the Jersey shore. Now I realize it is somewhat inconsistent to be preaching the need to take a vacation and writing this article at the same time, but I only go "cold turkey" one time per year. Cold turkey in my family mea ns turning off the pager, turning off the cell phone, leaving the comput- er behind and going to a destination with my wife only one or two people in the world, none connect- ed with the office, know. The few times I've made the mistake of letting one of my partners know my travel plans on one of these "cold turkey" vacations he found me and ruined (and I mean really ruined) what was a perfect vacation. So my advise is, when you take this type of trip don't let them know where to find you.

My Dad tells the story about the time, some years ago when he was working in advertising ( a very high pressure career which he retired from at 52), he traveled to the upper reaches of Canada on a fishing trip sponsored by the advertising department of one of the major New York papers. One of my father's more demanding clients had a problem which he felt only my father could solve. The client chartered a small plane to fly to the remote island from which they were fish- ing (there were of course no phones) and had this bush pilot land the sea-plane on the lake where the fishing camp was located. The pilot then used a speed boat to find my father who was happily fishing. The pilot spoke mostly French but when the speed boat arrived and the pilot indicated that he was looking for Mr. Kiesel because there was an emergency which required his return to civiliza- tion, my father, as any parent would, had the horrible of horrible pass through his mind at that moment. When seconds later my father realized it was his client (who shall go nameless for fear of bringing up old wounds), my Dad gave the pilot twenty dollars and told him to report that weather conditions wouldn't permit him to land. Needless to say, by the time my father returned to work on Monday the problem had been solved!!!

You can't replace the years which seem to go by faster and faster. My rule is to take at least two types of trips per year. The first is the traditional family vacation with my wife, Dana and our two children Joshua and Lauren aged 7 and 5. This trip is not exactly a "vacation" it's more of a family trip. While this trip allows me the opportunity to see family and play with my children at the beach, I still remain connected to the firm through my lap top, cell phone and pager. However, the pager may not be used by the firm to call me unless I specifically want to be advised of a call or result of a hearing. Bringing the computer and remaining connected to the firm allows me to take two full weeks off without fear of returning to the firm with a mountain of mail and "stack" of phone mes- sages. So, you get the point, take time for yourself and your family. Do it for yourself and your fam- ily and you won't have to look back with the regret expressed by so many at the missed opportuni- ties of experiencing the joy of being a part of your children's lives.

One other point while I'm on the subject. I found myself some years ago on the fast track for bar leadership and other "extracurricular" bar related activities. These activities took up at least 25% of my entire week's work and added at least an additional 20 hours of work per week. I realized a choice needed to be made, either slow track the bar activities or be an absent parent. Now I assure you this was a very difficult decision for me to confront. How do you turn aside the opportunity, at a very young age, to lead? At 34 I was on officer in the California Trial Lawyers Association consider- ing a run for the Vice-Presidency. The answer. Family. I realized that CTLA and, for that matter, any organization, will take as much time from you as you are willing to contribute. It's never enough. Organizations want your time, badly. Whether it's bar related or charitable, the more time you are willing to devote, the more they come to expect it. But what I also discovered, and which I want to share with you, is that organizations will wait. Boards will understand if you explain your family priori- ties. My children are not old enough to appreciate the "sacrifice" I am making for them, but hopeful- ly when they're 35 or so they will.

Let me just say, if it isn't already clear, I love the practice of law. I could work, although I don't consider it "work," 24 hours a day 7 days a week and have a great time. I feel so fortunate to have an opportunity to practice law in this great state. The challenge is to find a healthy balance between practice, family and friends. Having recently undergone the Lasic eye procedure to reverse years of reading in low light, I know there will be no such surgical procedure to reverse years of overwork or neglect of family. While I don't claim to have all the answers, I fall back on my mother's advise. Be the best lawyer you can be, but take care of your own needs and those of your family and you will be a better person. Well, back to my vacation and the Jersey shore.